Learn to lose, it's easier that way

I've been really poor at keeping this up to date but it's been due to being so very, very tired. That's a positive though because it's been down to the number of visitors I've had in recently. It's the sort of hard work that I am always pleased to take part in. Having people round actually perks me up a massive amount but it lasts only up till the visitors go and then the effort of entertaining catches up rapidly.

So what's been going on then? Well everything is kind of on pause at the moment really and nothing much has changed in my condition. When I compare it with this time last year though it's amazing. Last Christmas I was a whole 12kg lighter than I am now so in many ways I am much stronger and am finding it much easier to cope with the odd chest infections I get which is a real positive. On the other side of things though I am actually physically weaker because the weight gain has all been fat based and with the loss of muscle all over I just don't have a great deal of strength. So I've restricted myself mostly to my own little room and just getting by with books and films and computer games.

I've also just had my 33rd birthday and I suppose I can admit now that there have been moments when I wasn't sure that would come around. My best friends have been joking incessantly about my making it to the same age as Jesus to which I responded that just like the man himself I moved about for a few years before ending up living at home with my mammy. Now for the miracles eh?

There's something happening here, what it is ain't exactly clear

In American politics they (rather harshly) use the term flyover states to describe that big bit in the middle that falls between the powerhouses of what they call the Eastern and Western seaboards.

I have come to regard ITV as my televisual flyover state. I skip past it on the way to something much more worthy of my attention. This is because it mostly produces the sort of drivel that I just can't bear to watch but I have to give credit where it is due.

Last night I watched a documentary by John Pilger called The War You Don't See on ITV1 and it was truly excellent. I first stumbled across one of Pilger's books in a bookshop in York a decade ago and I've read quite a few of his books and even been to the cinema to see a few of his documentaries with like minded folk. On those occasions I've felt that while I loved them they were always preaching to the choir so I'm very pleased that this show went out on terrestrial television. If it gets even a small audience above what it would usually have found then it's a real forward step.

If anyone is interested it can be found for the next 30 days on the ITV website (this link should last that long as well)

Pilger Documentary

Snow is falling, all around us

The last week or so has been mental weather wise and it's led to some real amusement for me. Loads of people are complaining loudly about having cabin fever after being stuck in the house for a measly few days. As someone who has been housebound for over 18 months now it's hard to find sympathy with that sort of ridiculous over-reaction but me being me I managed to do it anyway.

Of course they are being quite utterly ridiculous but the facts are that this is a real shock to their system whereas it's just the norm for me. They can afford to get all huffy and hysterical about things like this because, and deep down they all know this, it's only temporary. If I were to get upset about being stuck indoors I would have gone genuinely bonkers ages ago. I can't afford to let things like that bother me in the slightest because I know that, in the short term at least, they're not going to change. Getting annoyed at things you can't do anything about is a colossal waste of energy.

Having said all that I've never found it particularly difficult anyway as I've always been perfectly comfortable in my own company. At times in my life I've wondered if I am perhaps too much so but I think I've got the balance about right now.

Self explanatory, planetary information

Sometimes other people sum up certain things much better than I ever could (click on it to read it correctly)