I've been putting off talking about my friend Gav who died recently. He had gone missing from his home in Glasgow back in November but his body was found near his home in Fife a few weeks ago. Seems he had decided to go there to die. The last time I saw him was at his 30th birthday party and he was in rare form.
I first met him in my time living in Aberdeen. He was one of my then girlfriend Kat's best friends so I was actually quite tense about meeting him, hoping that we would get on well, worrying in the way you do when you start going out with someone and really care what their friends think. I needn't have worried as we hit it off pretty much straight away. All the normal student topics like music, films, politics and philosophies of life were covered and we just got on brilliantly.
I think if one thing is true of Gavin it is that he would hate anyone talking about him to resort to cliché so I'll try and avoid a saccharine sweet version of things.
You see we actually got on so well because Gav liked people that challenged him. If Gav thought you were at least as smart as he was (which was very) then he was brilliant fun to be around. We disagreed on any number of subjects but as long as he thought you were making solid arguments (even if he disagreed with your conclusion) then you would get on great. It was almost like we were engaged in a really slow moving, long-term chess game. I could go for months without seeing him but we could always pick up where we let off the last time we met. I didn't expect things to end with him knocking his king over.
With his wicked intellect and wit though there came some frustrations, which often manifest in his behaviour towards his friends whereby he would often just write them out of his life for a little while. I always worried when he was in the middle of one of those periods, not just for him but for those he was ignoring as it often really upset them. I've since found out that he suffered terribly from cluster headaches and wonder if these things are related and he was just carving out a little space for himself when he wasn't feeling his best by being cruel to his friends. I know I've done similar things.
Like I mentioned earlier it was often at very large intervals that I actually saw Gav, but knowing that I'll never bump into him again is a very strange feeling indeed. Of course there are many, many people who will feel that far stronger than I do and that's who I really feel for. I hope they find some peace.
This is a pic of the three of us in the Bobbin in Aberdeen on Superbowl sunday, all still recovering after the party we had for Katherine's birthday on the friday. Obviously much happier times.
Bless ye pal
In other news I've been laid low with a viral bug so not even been up to turning the 'puter on till today. Feeling much better now but still a bit wheezy. Felt a bit scunnered by it all I have to admit but that always passes when I get better.
No comments:
Post a Comment