Monday, 25 April 2011

All I ever wanted, all I ever needed is here in my arms

My life very suddenly got annoyingly loud and then disquietingly silent. The oxygen concentrator I use to help me breathe developed a fault overnight and the alarm kept going off so I just turned it off and used the oxygen cylinder I keep for times just like this. It's quite incredible just how quiet the house feels. The concentrator has been there for so long that that we no longer really notice the noise it makes but its absence is eerie.

It makes me think of the prayer, the Desiderata by Max Ehrmann, that I see at the bottom of our hall stairs every time I go past. It starts 'Go placidly amid the noise and the haste and remember what peace there may be in silence'

It's a phrase I've held close to my heart for a long while as it reminds me of my dad. The other prayer that has this effect is the serenity prayer.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference

Noble sentiments obviously but He and I disagreed on one part of it only, the first few words, God grant me. My stance was that these are things I have to fight constantly to achieve without the grace of God deigning to bestow such gifts on me. He believed that my ability to display those characteristics was indeed God given.

For all I don't miss church, I miss talking with my dad about his faith and how important it was to him.

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